Month Ender Post: February 2012

I don’t know why it took me a couple of days to finally put into writing everything that happened to me last month. I suppose it’s because February was harsh and doesn’t deserve to be remembered.

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February was a series of excruciating heartbreak. It’s like every day I’m fighting to live. Every inch of strength I was able to secure during the month of January was abruptly washed away. There were times I just couldn’t stop crying. I cry every time I wake up. I cry when I’m on my way to work. I cry while walking home. I cry when I have the chance to be alone. I cry every day. I even took pity on myself because I feel so miserable. I have died every day trying to fight the pain.

Valentine’s week was unforgettable. I never imagined that in my whole life, I will feel that kind of pain. I never thought that one day this will happen. We were so perfect. I tried to understand how something so perfect go wrong. But I realized that maybe it was perfect because for me ALONE, it was perfect. It went wrong simply because IT IS wrong.

Though I survived February, I’m still fighting the battle. I had more wounds and scars… but I’m still holding my armor. I don’t know when this struggle will be over. I don’t know how many buckets of tears I’m still going to cry. Nevertheless, I believe that one day, by God’s grace, I can put down my gear and proudly say that I have already won the war.

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2 thoughts on “Month Ender Post: February 2012

  1. “If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart.” ~Oswald Chambers

    You were the first person in my mind when I read that quote… :) Take heart dear… God is bringing to pass His purposes in your life.

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