If Not Now, When?

Picture3They say that when you make decisions, you’ve got to choose the right thing. But what if it’s a decision wherein nothing actually seems wrong? Or what if you’re choosing between two things and you feel like both seems good or right? How will you decide? Which one will you choose?

I’m quite used in making impulsive decisions. Like how I once decided to color my hair bright orange (although it wasn’t the color I have in mind), or even the time I decided to revise almost my whole thesis in less than 2 weeks before my thesis defense. (I’m a bit perfectionist at times. I know, I know. Crazy right?) And you know what? Just thinking of those many impulsive decision moments, well, I have to conclude that our “feelings” is indeed the one  responsible for our “impulsiveness”.

Remember those scenarios you find yourself saying things like, “No. I just have to take this one. It’s now or never.” Or probably, “This should be it. I’ve never felt anything like this before.” And how about, “If I don’t do this now, when?” Funny how we convince ourselves over making decisions using these statements. Well, I’m not saying that these are not true. In fact, there are times (which is quite rare) that these statements could be applicable. But using these when making big choices in life? Come on.

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked…”(Jeremiah 17:9, NLT) Don’t you find it a bit weird and quite out of context when we often think and associate the words “true and pure” when we say “heart”? When we hear the word “heart”, we always think that it’s sincere and forget the fact that the very nature of a human heart is actually wicked. Pureness is what the goal of our hearts is and not really its natural state. So if our hearts is the most deceitful of all things then why should we trust the feelings it sends to our brains? Why should we act based on feelings which our hearts generate if we are aware of the possibility that it could just be deceiving us? Are you still willing to decide based only on what you feel?

Yesterday morning, something urged me to do the unthinkable. As some of you might have already known, I am actually reviewing for the ALE (Architect Licensure Examination) this June. I still have about 2 months and a half to prepare, but yesterday I felt like I only have about a week. HAHA. I became a bit paranoid and suddenly the thought of “failing” hit me. I don’t want to fail. I felt unprepared (even though I have been reviewing since January) that I immediately updated my resume and decided to send it out online. Yes. I was thinking of stopping this whole review thing and just work instead. In less than 6 hours, I received a call and was scheduled for an interview (it’s actually supposed to be this afternoon). But then, in also less than 6 hours, I finally got back to my senses and decided to cancel and decline the interview. I was a bit uncertain. Yet I was thinking that it could be a high paying job opportunity. Like what my dad always say: We (employers) don’t call applicants if we could not offer the expected salary you have in your resume. (Hahaha!) Another one also informed me today (and it’s a big company) that I have an interview next week. *sighs* This could be the only opportunity for me to get in that company. What if there’s no next time? But no. I have to at least try taking the exam this June. Whether I pass or fail, if it is God’s will for me to be in those companies calling me today, then I believe it will happen someday.

While most of us today commonly use the popular phrase, “It’s now or never”, I still and have always believed in the saying, “What’s meant to happen is going to happen”. I remember the time when I heard one missionary from Canada share the story of how she really wanted to be assigned in the Philippines several years ago. She said something like, “If it is God who impressed something in your heart, then that feeling, no matter what happens, will never go away.”

Isn’t it amazing how much we can trust God? That if our hearts are truly in Him, then we can be assured that everything He will put in it will always be pure and not wicked. If our hearts are in Christ, we don’t have to become impulsive in making decisions again. We will have faith that if it is His will for us, then no matter what choice we make, it will still and definitely happen.Picture2

***Photo Credits: (mimiandeunice.com) (licenseplatesfront.com)

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3 thoughts on “If Not Now, When?

  1. Really nice entry! I’m an avid reader of your posts and I always find inspiration from them. :) This one in particular, I can really relate too ‘coz I’m also reviewing for the ALE and I’ve been caught up with your situation also. Although I did take the job because I had my reasons. Anyway, I also agree with this “What’s meant to happen is going to happen”. It’s true that if God wills it, then it is bound to happen someday. Maybe that impulsiveness feeling is just His way of telling us to keep the faith and trust and that He’s going to have our back..always :)

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    1. That’s so sweet of you Karla. Thank you :) I got a bit praning lang talaga and acted without really thinking. Haha. Wonderful insight by the way. God indeed has a way of reminding us of His goodness. :)

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