There’s No Combination of Words

I prefer to just shrug it off.

As much as I’d like to dismiss these thoughts, it just keeps on haunting me. It never goes away. It’s like a virus deep inside my system which never fails to catch me off-guard when it attacks. I hate it. If only I can do something to wipe it all in my head. But I can’t. It makes me cringe, and cry, and even space-out most of the time. I say I’m fine and remain silent but then in the midst of silence I still have a lot of questions. Questions of why? How? And then back again to why? Well, sometimes it makes me smile. When I think of it I can’t help but to see how different things were. But reminding myself about it makes me also want to put up these walls around me. Tall, strong walls which nobody could ever break. Just like my thoughts. That’s how it works I guess. My own big question marks tend to become bigger question marks for other people. But I’d like it keep it that way. Yes, that somewhat crazy “you-frustrate-me” way.

I wonder if this will ever end.
For now, I’m trying to again, just shrug it off.

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2 thoughts on “There’s No Combination of Words

  1. Super Girl,
    Hi. We’ve met before. Once, twice maybe. Not too long ago.
    Well, let me start off by saying that i accidentally stumbled on your blog a few days ago. One article made me read more articles until i realized that i read all of them.
    I have two point of writing this letter to you. To tell you the following:
    Number 1: You inspire me
    I’ve always wanted to write too. I also dreamed about my own blog and a book. And was inspired on how you accomplished it. The pink book is awesome and i want to have that too someday. My thoughts on paper since college are scattered in my room and seeing you pulled it off inspires me. Thank you. Your blog made me push myself to reach that dream  Keep on writing. Inspire people. 
    Number 2: Stay strong
    I admire your strength. I had the exact situation when i was your age. The experience, the pain, the heartbreak, how i ran away, and how i came back. Back then it was a tragedy. But looking back, for me it’s a blessing. We had the same belief by the way. And I would definitely say that without HIM, i think i would lose my mind and gave up on life. But everyday i embraced the pain, savored the moment of being on my own and I couldn’t thank God enough for that experience because now, i know I’m strong. And think i can face anything. Through Him who gives us strength. The only difference we had back then is that you held on tighter. And as your sister in Christ, I am so proud of you. Continue to seek Him and things will go well with you.
    It doesn’t rain forever. Have faith, Take courage because soon, the sun will shine in your soul. We just have to learn. Your are in that situation to rest, and to ponder. Expect a next great chapter because God is preparing something for you.
    Well, that’s all i guess.
    I believe that God will bless you with someone who will fight for you. Because you are beautiful, strong and you are worth fighting for.
    Keep walking in Faith. Surrender. That’s the best decision I had in my life 

    Like

    1. Thank you for your kind words. :) You just have no idea how this inspired and encouraged me. Thank you!! May God bless you too and yes, I will take your word. I’ll continue to surrender and hold on tightly to Him. :)

      Like

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