It’s More Than I Can Bear

I am seeing things.

I saw her sitting at the corner, with her face buried between her knees and her red puffy eyes, staring blankly at nowhere. “How long have she been like that?” I thought. Next thing I knew, she’s gone.

Sometimes I see her beside the kitchen sink with that same blank stare, as if in deep thought. Many times I witness her getting a knife, attempting to stab her own self. I cannot move. “What is wrong with me? Is this really happening?” But then again, in a snap, she’s gone.

Maybe she’s the same girl I always hear weeping in random times of the day. Her cry really expresses her unfathomable grief. There was a time I saw her lying lifelessly on the floor, her mouth full of white bubbles, with some bottle of liquid on her hand. “Is she even real?” I looked at her for a few seconds. I cannot understand.

Sometimes it scares me. However, I think I’m getting used to it. I wonder how long I would be seeing her. She looks really tired. Is she leaving soon? I don’t know why I’m seeing her either. Things are becoming a bit hazy the past days.

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