We Love You Tatay

Β The video shown on the last night of Tatay’s wake.

A big thanks to everyone who have extended their condolences to the whole family. Last Sunday, we bid our final goodbyes to Tatay (my dad’s father). It’s comforting to see people who want to spend time with the family on the last night of his wake and even until the funeral.

We still praise God in times like this. His promise keeps us encouraged.

Our friends, we want you to know the truth about those who have died, so that you will not be sad, as those who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again, so we believe that God will take back with Jesus those who have died believing in Him.
– 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

We all have our fond memories of Tatay. And even though he’s no longer with us, we are confident that one day we will see him again in heaven. Last weekend was a celebration of his life, his love, and his faith.

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It was a fine afternoon. Perfect weather. Darel and I took turns in taking these photos (and videos! — soon). Btw, the photos showing Rafa crying doesn’t have anything to do with the funeral. He cried because the maintenance personnel was done with the lawn mower. Haha.

The Real Deal When Introverts Go To Their Default Mode

I suddenly felt my energy drop to almost zero level. So I decided to just go to bed and sleep it off. When I woke up, it felt worse. It’s one of those mornings when you don’t know what’s wrong but it feels like something’s wrong. The feeling started to get worse as I prepare for another day of interacting with people.

These are the thoughts of every introvert person who just reached their threshold of socializing. Haha. I know it sounds weird, but when we say we had too much interaction for today, trust us. It is mentally exhausting.

As much as I’d like to make myself available and be excited making friends and catching up, my normal self does not cooperate so well during times like this. I need to restart my system and recharge.

So, please allow us to have our alone time. Or when we choose to be with a small circle of friends we’re comfortable with. Exposing ourselves to a big crowd will only make things worse. I personally prefer detaching from people and just spend time with myself. Whether just staying at home, watching tv, writing or music, these things help me recover. We have different ways on how to cope, so trust us. We know what we’re doing. :p

Also, please bear with us. You may mistake us for being snobs in times like this, but the truth is, we’re just trying to recuperate to get our gears working again. It’s not that we hate you and try to avoid you. We just can’t find the right thread to pull on how to become not awkward talking to you. We would rather spend the next hours baby talking to toddlers than having a real conversation in a room full of people. Well of course, when it’s impossible to escape, we still try our best to act normal even if it’s starting to drain our energy.

Most of the time, I hate myself for being like this. Like, why can’t I just become that person who doesn’t need to go thru this? It’s difficult to reboot when it’s all empty. I know it’s annoying and difficult, but I find it beautiful too at the same time. It makes me realize how insufficient I am. It reminds me to put my trust all the more to God who is able to restore all things. It takes away my dependence to myself and my capabilities. If I don’t have this flaw, I can easily boast how easy it is to be with people. It makes me realize how needy I am of God’s strength.

It’s still beautiful, right?

2016: An Overview

year-ender

Spontaneous. The perfect word to describe my year.

Starting with resigning from my day job to becoming a freelancer, going somewhere almost every month, climbing another mountain, making #titaduties a glamorous task, learning how to skate, dyeing my hair in i-forgot-how-many-colors, learning italian, revived my passion for video editing, playing musical instruments again, going back to writing, enjoy baking, trying out target shooting, watching a movie alone again, backpacking…. — cutting this now ‘cos this list could be my entire blog post haha.

I’ve done so many new and great things this year, and all are not included in the grand plan I made when I started jotting down goals in my 2016 journal. Despite the many “what-if’s” and fears and all kinds of emotion I had to feel this year, I’ve learned one thing — and that is God is with me. He’s with me in every single circumstance I had to face and endure. He’s with me when I was in my darkest and deepest horror I thought impossible to overcome. He’s with me every time I’ll start to worry about what’s next for me. Every time I’m confused, hurt and feel like I’m the worst person ever, I know I’m not alone ‘cos He is with me.

I’m ending 2016 remembering God’s faithfulness. It was indeed a faith-stretching year! I would have never survived it without Him directing my path to new opportunities I never thought would come. He is a God who provides! May it be financially or in some other things, or even people. Staying away from negativity and to be always full of hope are the things I’ve learned this year. I am to live a victorious life. Why stress over the little things?

For 2017, I have a lot in mind. I don’t even know where to start but I want to explore. I want to jump again in the unknown waters and just keep on swimming. I love the life I chose to live. No more fears. Just faith and a grateful heart.

Happy New Year!!